Empire of the Vampire

Empire of the Vampire — Jay Kristoff

ASK ME NOT if God exists, but why he’s such a prick. — 2026-08-12

But I never met a minstrel who wasn’t a liar, coldblood. Nor a holy man who wasn’t a cunt. — 2026-08-13

Knowing exactly who you are and exactly what you’re capable of. Most folk would call it arrogance, I suppose. But most folk are fucking fools. — 2026-08-13

Have I somehow given impression that I give a solitary speck of shit for what you prefer? — 2026-08-13

There’s no misery so deep as one you face by yourself. — 2026-08-14

If death is so glorious, how is it meted so cheaply and so often by the most worthless of men? — 2026-08-15

The vampire tapped his quill, brow creased. “I told you, de León. Speak as if to a child. For what reason did the locals tear down the bridge?” The silversaint stared hard, his jaw clenched. Then he spoke, not only as if to a child, but as if to one who’d been dropped repeatedly and enthusiastically on the head by its mother. — 2026-08-24

Always better to be a bastard than a fool. — 2026-08-24

The graveyards of the world are full of fools who thought of fear as anything but a friend. — 2026-08-24

Gabriel tapped an empty leather pouch at his belt. “Behold the purse in which I keep my fucks for what you think of me. — 2026-08-24

Ye hast the look of hammered shite, by the by. — 2026-08-25

“I pulled my tricorn lower, gave Jez a mournful pat. ‘Sorry, girl. Should’ve warned you that the Almighty enjoys shitting in my brisket at every opportunity. — 2026-08-25

As wealthy as a priest after the collection plate has been passed around, and as strange as the idea that the creator of heaven and earth needs the money in the first place. — 2026-08-28

I was a ball of nerves and restless energy, a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, — 2026-08-28

There are three ways men view the women of the world, Gabriel. Enemies to be overcome. Prizes to be won. Or as people. My advice is choose the latter, my love. Lest they begin considering you the former. — 2026-08-28

Horseshit. Pig spunk. Lunatic nonsense. Honestly, I think the only reason half this collection is forbidden is out of the profound embarrassment someone was fucking stupid enough to collect it in the first place. — 2026-08-28

A life without books is a life not lived. — 2026-08-28

There is no hell so cruel as powerlessness. — 2026-08-28

It’s a self-important prat who believes his thoughts are worth putting to parchment, let alone writing a fucking ballad about. — 2026-08-31

. You know what most men don’t do enough of?” “Tell me, Silversaint.” “They don’t shut the fuck up. They don’t just sit and listen. — 2026-08-31

Touch that sword and you’ll be playing your lute with your fucking toes, Soothsinger. — 2026-08-31

‘You aright, boy?’ “‘I’m all r-right,’ he wheezed. “‘Because you look like shit twice stepped in. — 2026-09-03

That’s the horrifying part—the only thing holding some folk back from the worst atrocities they can imagine is the fear they might not get away with it. — 2026-09-05

I earned my aegis when you were still a tadpole paddling about in your godless father’s janglesack. — 2026-09-05

Your past is stone, but your future is clay. And you decide the shape of the life you’ll make. — 2026-09-09

It’s a fool who plays at the precipice. But only the prince of fools blames another when he falls. — 2026-09-09

Better to die a man than live a monster, we say. But there are many kinds of monsters in this world, boy. A man does what he must. A monster does what he wills. — 2026-09-09

It’s a strange truth, but some folk enjoy the notion of owning books more than reading them, — 2026-09-12

When your whole world is going to hell, all you need is someone who sounds like he knows the way. — 2026-09-12

you remember what I said about the problem with most men being they never shut the fuck up?” Jean-François nodded. “Oui.” “Turns out that’s also true for teenage girls. — 2026-09-12

And if you think designating the safekeeping of the abyss to a pin-headed twatgoblin who doesn’t know which part of the chicken is safe to eat sounds a terrible idea, you and I are in total agreement. “ — 2026-09-12

The scene was chaos; like a junk store had a drunken hate fuck with a lunatic asylum. — 2026-09-13